June 15, 2007 Yesterday one of my dreams came through. I had longed to go on a cattle drive for years and yesterday it finally happened. I had to get up at 4am, had to be in the stables at 4.30am to saddle my horse. We then loaded the horses and went over to another part of the farm where we picked up Brian and his horse. There was me, Tray (the livestock manager), his seven year old son Hugh, Brian and Sarah (a veterinary student).We then drove to the Bar V ranch where more cowboys and their horses were waiting. The land where we are going to ride and brand is actually on a Indian Reservation that belongs to the Crow tribe. 

At 7am we sat on our horses and rode the beautiful hills to find the cattle. There were three pairs who all went a different direction. I was paired up with Brian. We found some cattle up on the ridge and they needed to go down to cross the creek. Brian told me to wait on top while he would bring the cattle down. The other cowboys would come over the ridge and as soon as I would see them bring the cattle down, I needed to come down and look for him. So here I was, sitting on this beautiful quarter horse at 7.30 in the morning on top of the ridge overlooking this amazing area. It was an incredible feeling and I could imagine myself being an Indian Chief overlooking this valley in ancient times. When I saw the other cowboys bringing the cattle down, I went down the steep slope towards the creek. When I was there, I saw the cattle coming my way. I wasn’t sure what to do but Brian had told me that they needed to cross the creek so I guided them that way and just waited there till Sam came and told me that they had enough cattle and that Brian had been looking for me at the top of the ridge. There had been a misunderstanding in communication. He had meant for me to come down the ridge heading south. I thought he had wanted me to come down the hill. I learned again that communication is the key and that it would have been better if I had talked to him about what I understood he wanted me to do. Oh well, you always learn. Sam and I headed up the hill and connected with the other cowboys who were herding the cattle. This was great fun! Sometimes a calf would try to break out and then I would go after it and bring it back. Close to the corral we had the whole herd of cattle together and were driving them towards the coral. The cows could feel the pressure and we needed to stay close to push them forwards. I looked at how the others were riding but this was the first time for me so I was not as fast and flexible with my horse. At one point, there was a gap between me and another rider and the cattle broke through so we had to go in full gallop to get in front of them and bring them back again. This was very hard and focused work and I could feel myself and my horse tire. We stayed close enough this time and were able to bring the herd into the coral. Now I understand so much more about Western riding and why they do certain moves and why they all wear spurs. If you and your horse don’t respond quickly enough, you can lose the whole herd and have to start all over again. It was a great experience and I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to be part of this. 

The next part was not really my thing. Clayton, one of the other cowboys, gave me the tag gun and said that I had to tag the calves. I told him that I would not be good at that. I am a vegetarian so that should tell you enough about what kind of person I am, I said. They looked at me and I thought their eyes would pop out. You don’t eat steak, Brian said. The look on his face was worth a million. He had never met a vegetarian before. I guess I have landed in a different world. My new job was to prepare the tag gun with the tags and hand them to the person who was going to do the tagging. Two cowboys (or cowgirl as Claytons wife Christina also helped out and was an excellent roper) would enter the corral on horse, catch a calf with their lasso, drag it over the ground towards another cowboy who would be waiting with a iron handle that was tight to rope and rubber. He would put over the handle over the calf’s neck so that the animal would be stretched out between this and the rope around his legs attached to the horse. They would then brand it, castrate it if it was a bull, vaccinate it, tag it and dehorn it all in one go. Then they would let go of the calf and the next would be waiting.The castration is just done with a pocket knife. The just cut the testicles and throw those in a bucket that was right next to where the tags were that I had to put in the gun. I was in the way at one point and got some balls thrown at my legs. I have to say that I felt every pain of every calf and was so nauseated that I couldn’t eat lunch. I am not very good at this and definitely could not look at all. Of course I got teased because of this as Christina did the same work as all these guys and had no problems with it. I asked her what she loved about the life of a cowgirl. Everything, she said, getting dirty.  

We were back at the Ranch at 7pm and had branded 300 calves. I was exhausted. These guys work really hard. Getting up at 4am, doing extremely physical work and they might have had a break for maybe 45 minutes in between to eat some lunch and get something to drink. I am glad I got to experience all of this, even though some of it was not so pleasant. Now I have more of an understanding of the life of a cowboy. 

Posted: June 19th, 2007 under June 2007.
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June 13, 2007 

This morning Anne and I went over to Canyon Ranch to use their dressage arena so that I could ride Avadon. This horse is so amazing. Every time I look at him, I am in awe. He is just so beautiful. He is actually 18 hands and already 20 years old but you can’t tell by his energy, behavior and charisma. 

It was so wonderful to sit on such a powerful horse again and his movements are so big. For years I have ridden dressage but the last time was in 1997 so ten years ago. I was amazed how easy it was for me to pick it up again.  

When we were ready I put my arms around his big neck and just cuddled with him for awhile. My heart was touching the area of his heart and suddenly the tears started flowing. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because for so long dressage and horses were such a part of my life and I am missing it? Maybe because it reminded me of my youth? Maybe because it reminded me of my time with Nico? I just couldn’t stop crying so I just let it flow. When we were back at Anne’s place and the horses were in their wonderful paddocks again, it was time for me to say goodbye to Anne. She thanked me for being a teacher and I felt the same. I know that we will be seeing each other again. 

At 1pm I had another lesson with Gene and learned more about projecting the sound and how to use your entire body as a conduit for sound. After this wonderful session I felt the urge for a massage so I called Lisa, who I had met at the Holistic gathering, and she said she could do it at 4pm. So I had some time to fill up with propane and gas and went to the visitor’s center to say good bye to Janelle as I was planning to head out to Shell. Janelle told me about a openings party that evening at the

Dayton’s Mercantile which is now turned into a movie set and video production company. This was on my way to Shell so it sounded like a wonderful idea.
My massage with Lisa was wonderful. She was able to help me with my sinus problems and with my jaw that sometimes locks. My entire body felt relaxed and recharged at the same time. After this wonderful massage I drove to

Dayton with mixed feelings. Part of me was excited about my new adventures and the other part was feeling sad for saying goodbye to this wonderful place and the lovely people that I had met. 

When I drove into

Dayton, I had the feeling that I might meet someone here and that I was going to stay the night in this little town. When I arrived at the Mercantile, I was again reminded how small this area is as I saw a few people that I knew from

Sheridan. I connected with Jan, who I had met at the visitor’s center and who connected me with Vicky Cain. Jan had also come to my concert. I told her that Vicky had introduced me to her boyfriend Sam and because of that I had been able to stay at Putters Ranch and I was now on my way to Shell to meet with the Flitners Family. She pointed to a man and said that she had called him too but he wasn’t there. She said that he runs the largest ranch in

Wyoming called Padlock Ranch. I said, could you maybe still talk to him and ask him if I could stay for a day or so. So she went over, talked to him and then introduced him and his wife to me. They are in the middle of branding the calves and are very busy but I was welcome to see the branding. Of course I would love to see this so now here I am parked on

Wyomings biggest ranch and will be witnessing the branding tomorrow. Another adventure has presented itself. Wow!

Posted: June 19th, 2007 under June 2007.
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June 12, 2007  Yesterday I gave a workshop “Release emotions through sound and movement” in Sheridan. The

Sheridan

College had kindly offered their music room so we had enough space to move around. It is always wonderful to give these workshops as every group is different and I always learn new things. Gene, the music teacher whom had given me a private lesson earlier on in the week, also attended and he shared some of his knowledge with us too. More and more I believe in collaborating. Together we can achieve so much more than when we work alone. It is also much more fun.  After the workshop, I drove to Bighorn to stay with Anne again. We have a special connection and it is always wonderful to be in her presence and to stay on her beautiful property. It really has a very nice energy. I am feeling that it is almost time for me to move on again and this time I am heading towards Yellowstone

National Park. It is time to meet new people and time for a new adventure.

 This morning, I did some natural horsemanship work with Avadon, the beautiful 17 hands Hanoverian gelding. It is amazing how he quickly learned the techniques and respects my space and my boundaries.   

This afternoon, Anne and I felt drawn to go to the mountains for a hike. I really love these mountains and feel such a connection with them. They are so incredible beautiful. The road to it was really rough but it was definitely worth it. The hills were covered with beautiful spring flowers in assorted colors. We saw a wild orchid which is fairly rare. Anne had brought her dogs Blake and Scout and we went up to a special spot and did some toning to clear the energy. I also helped Anne with some inner child work. It is so much fun to spend time together with Anne and I love it that I now have so many new friends in this part of the country.   

Posted: June 12th, 2007 under June 2007.
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June 11, 2007 

Last night I gave my concert at the Carriage House Theater. It went very well and the audience loved it. I really enjoyed the feeling of this small theater and being so close to my audience and it was great to have a lot of my new friends there. The Sheridan Chamber of Commerce had kindly offered to provide the refreshments for the intermission. Janelle, who is the executive director for the Chamber and Rebecca, the event organizer for the Holistic Gathering, were so excited about my show that they have invited me to come back in the fall. They would like to set up a large promotional campaign and book the WYO Theater which holds more people. I am already looking forward to come back to this wonderful place. 

As I am going through this time of transformation, I also feel that my concerts are going to take on another form. For some reason, the concert on Saturday night did not feel quite right to me. I feel that it is time to incorporate new songs and create a whole new show. I am interested to see how my new show will unfold and what it will be like.

Posted: June 12th, 2007 under June 2007.
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June 10, 2007 

It was time to say goodbye to the wonderful Ranch and the Goodwin family yesterday morning as I needed to head back to

Sheridan to set up and do the sound check for my concert for that night. As always, when you have a good time, it is hard to say goodbye but I know that I will be back.

 

I had scheduled to be at the Carriage House Theater at 9am to set up and get instructions about the theater. This is a historical place and used to be a carriage house which they have turned into a small theater. It only holds 88 seats and is real intimate. The entrance still has the old stables in it. I really like it as it has great character and I love small theaters as you are so close to your audience.  

After I was done, I went to the park to relax. While having lunch outside in my shorts and bikini top, a group of walkers came by. I said hello and two men came over and asked me if it was me on the picture, referring to the sign with my picture and my name on the side of the RV. I said it was my sister who was now sleeping as she needed to prepare for her concert for that evening. (hey I felt a little uncomfortable in my bikini top!) The asked what concert, so I went into the RV and got some flyers. It didn’t feel right not to speak the truth so I said that it was me on the picture. We had a nice chat and they continued there walk. A little while later, one man came back and said that they were having a luncheon for the senior walk group and if I could come over to sing one song? Sure, why not. So I changed into something more appropriate and drove to where they were sitting and sang I’ll be seeing you. They loved it! That is why I love my job; it always makes people happy. I love doing those spontaneous things and as a reward I got a senior walk group t-shirt. Live is full of little surprises if we can go with the flow.  

In the morning I had picked up two packages that had been delivered for me at Marijke’s place. One package was from

Krishna. There was some dried sage that I can use for purification, a cd with Ohm, an oil blend and a drawing of Ohm with the blue lotus fusion in the four corners. What a wonderful surprise! This man has become so special to me. I feel that he has come on my path to teach me some very important techniques that I can use for my inner growth as well as my healing abilities. I asked him if he felt that we needed to go to

India and he said it wasn’t a matter of feeling, it was a matter of when.Everything in its own time. You need to be ready for that, he said. I agree with that. I feel that I am going through an immense time of transformation right now.

Krishna called again for my weekly oil bath. Every time I talk to him, I just feel every cell of my being vibrate and alive. This man has so much knowledge and wisdom and I feel so privileged that he is sharing this with me. I feel like an apprentice and am an eager student willing to learn and grow.

Posted: June 12th, 2007 under June 2007.
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June 8, 2007 

I finally went riding this morning. Wow,

Wyoming is so beautiful. Putter, Annie (his daughter) and Sam (who works here) took 8 polo horses out and I was on Moon, a nice quarter horse. It was so wonderful to ride again and to appreciate the beauty of this beautiful area on horse back. The mountains still had some snow on it and this made it extra spectacular. In those moments, I feel so much gratitude and so happy to be alive.

Here I am, riding a beautiful horse in the

Bighorn Mountains, staying on a wonderful ranch and having such a great time. I am so glad that I decided to come this way instead of going to

Dallas!

     

 

This is such a nice ranch and the people are so friendly. It feels like I am part of the family. Putters parents are around 80 but they are still active helping out on the ranch. I have noticed that mature people in America are much more active and fit than people in

Holland. Is this because the benefits are better in

Holland so people stop working earlier and they feel old earlier? I am aiming to be a very vital 80 year old, traveling the world and having great fun.

 

 

 

Posted: June 9th, 2007 under June 2007.
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June 4, 2006 This afternoon I had a vocal lesson with Gene Fager, who is the music teacher at the College. He was the man that I had met at the Holistic Gathering who had told me about sending the sound through your body. The lesson was really interesting. This man can create a beautiful high F without a warm up and without straining his voice. He basically works with more energy instead of more breath or pressure. I am so thankful that he has come on my path as I feel that this was very important for me to learn. The rest of the day I spend creating the flyers for the concert and workshops, sending it to the printer and doing all the promotional work for the events.

Posted: June 8th, 2007 under June 2007.
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June 5, 2007 At the holistic gathering I did a private session for Charlotte who runs a company that helps battered women. She asked me if I could come to her office and do sessions on her staff. So this morning I went over and treated 6 people. The more healings I am doing, the stronger my intuition and healing energy is becoming. I am really enjoying this whole process especially the fact that I am now allowing time to work on people and horses instead of sitting behind the computer all day. 

We are so conditioned that if we want to make it as an artist, we really need to work hard on promoting ourselves, putting ourselves out there etc. so that is what I have been doing for the past few years. Did it really get me what I had hoped for? When I am totally honest? No. I can now look back and say that it blocked my creative and healing energy. I am realizing now that I am not an artist like any other who sings to entertain. Healing is very much part of who I am and my path. For a long time I have neglected this.This time away from my home and office and every day routine is allowing me to really go with the flow and to be of service. Every morning I wake up and see to the Universe; ok show me where I need to go, what I need to do, who I need to be and let me be of service. Now I really feel that the energy is flowing and without doing any marketing or promoting at all, opportunities to do what I love to do is coming my way. Everything is very easy. This is showing me that it is not for me to work like other artist and spend a lot of time in promoting myself. Word to mouth is the best way for me.And the great thing about it is that I really enjoy this journey. Every day is a new adventure. I never know what I will be doing tomorrow or even in the afternoon. I never know who I will be meeting. I really don’t enjoy sitting behind the computer all day. I do enjoy writing about my experiences. This is still being creative and this feeds my soul. After the sessions and dropping of all the flyers to the right places, I felt the need to spend the night in Bighorn again. When I have been in a town for a while or have been working with a lot of people, I really feel the need to be in nature again. I need that time to recharge. If I don’t take this time for me, then I will feel drained and I am not enjoying giving healing sessions. While driving to Bighorn, Anne rang and she invited me to stay at her place. Perfect timing! It was nice to spend some time with her again. We both feel that we have things to teach to each other and just being in each others company is enough. We went to check out the horses. She has got three; two quarter horses and one Magnificent Hanoverian called Avadon. This horse is so beautiful. He is very big; 17 hands and radiates this incredible power. He knows this and he uses this. Anne and I both feel intimidated by him. He is a loving horse but he has no respect for our space and almost walks you over. When he was doing this again, I realized that he was showing us something. We are not in our power yet. We have not accepted our own brilliance, our own magnificence completely. When we would be in our power and accepting our own brilliance, he would show respect. So I stepped into my power and tried to move him away from me without touching him. Just by expending my energy I was able to make him go back one step. Ah, it was working. I felt that I needed to do some Pat Parelli work on him. In

New Zealand, I had done a course in Natural Horsemanship. This is the way of the Horse Whisperer. After I did some work with him, he was respecting my boundaries and I felt my power yet in a very loving way. All of this taught me that if some one doesn’t respect our boundaries, we can push them back energetically. Also we can invite someone in our space energetically. This was very important for me to understand.

Animals are great teachers, if we are only willing to see and listen.

Posted: June 8th, 2007 under June 2007.
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June 7, 2007 

We as humans have the tendency to control yet today I discovered again that nature can’t be controlled. All night it hard poured down with rain causing floods, fallen trees and bridged washed away.Now 7 hours later the sky is almost clear. Just a few white clouds in the sky and the sun is slowly disappearing behind a mountain covered with snow. The birds are singing again, the wind has changed into a light breeze and suddenly it feels very peaceful. 

I needed to be outside for awhile and sit in a paddock with ten beautiful polo horses grazing around me.Slowly they come closer, wanting to check me out. This morning they were all cuddled up trying to get some shelter from the trees and each other. Now they are all spread out, filling their stomachs with moist grass. Their grazing has a special rhythm, it almost sounds like an orchestra.

Posted: June 8th, 2007 under Short stories, June 2007.
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June 7, 2009 

I can’t believe it. This morning at 7am I heard a knock on my door. It was

Erin, if I could move my RV as I might get stuck. When I looked water was half way up to my tires and flooded the whole area. It had rained all night which I had noticed as I had not slept very peacefully because of the thick raindrops on my roof. Luckily I was still able to move my RV to a higher and dryer spot. The bridge to the ranch was totally flooded and another foot bridge had disappeared. The dining room was under water too. Pudder said that he had never experienced this in his entire life.

  

He asked me if I wanted to come for a drive as some trees had fallen on the road and he wanted to cut them with the chain saw. I am always in for some adventure so of we went. When we came up on a hill the sight of the mountains was incredible. They were covered with snow! Two days ago I walked around in shorts all day and it was 75 F or 22 C and now it was only 40 F or 3 C. Welcome to

Wyoming!

 

 

I thought it was all a big joke. Finally I had arrived on a ranch and today we were going to do some horse riding which I had longed for ever since I drove to Wyoming. Maybe I am not supposed to ride horses? They say that it is going to be 70 F again tomorrow so hopefully I will have a chance then. 

The downside of this adventure is that we have no power at the moment and I have no cell phone connection in this remote area. Steve Baskin of the Carriage House Theater where I will be giving a concert on Saturday is still trying to get a sound technician for me and he would get back in touch with me which is not possible right now. 

Last night before I went to sleep, I did a meditation in which I visualized that this whole area of Wyoming was being cleared of all negative energy. In this area there have been lots of battlefields between the White Soldiers and the Indian Warriors. This are has the battle sites Ft. Phil Kearny, Ft Fetterman, Wagonbox fight, the Bozeman trail and many people and many horses have died here. You can still feel this and I feel it is time that this is being cleared so I asked for that in my meditation. This morning while brushing my teeth (why is it always that we get insights in the bathroom?) the thought came to my mind that maybe Mother Earth is helping to clean this area by creating floods? That is definitely a great way of washing out any of the negative energy. So I did another meditation and saw this whole area being cleared and covered in white light. Another thought came to my mind; can we humans influence the weather?So I asked if this is true, then show this to me by stopping the rain within one hour. The forecast was rain throughout the whole day. Within 2 hours, it had stopped raining.Hey, I can live with one hour difference. Is this coincidence or do we really have this power? I don’t know. Right now, I still think it is coincidence although I also know that the Native American Indians were able to control the weather. Didn’t they have the rain and sun dances? It is just another thing to think about. I do know that we as humans don’t really know the power of creation. Maybe you can experiment with this too?

Posted: June 8th, 2007 under June 2007.
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