June 3, 2007 

When I walked into Java Moon coffee shop on Tuesday I saw a flyer for a holistic gathering for this weekend. I felt that I needed to call the event organizer. When I talked to Rebecca I told her what I do and that I am in the area. She invited me to do a lecture/workshop on Sound Healing on the Saturday and have a booth for both days where I could sell CD’s as well as do private sessions. 

I am not really into sitting behind a booth all day and doing expo’s but I felt that I needed to do this and again, I am so glad that I listened to my intuition. The more I listen to this, the stronger it is becoming. Even in my healing sessions, I now receive information that the person I am working with needs to know in order to balance the body, mind and spirit. So far, it has been very accurate. 

Rebecca had mentioned that she wanted me to meet Gene. He teaches music at the

Sheridan College and is very much into sound healing. It was interesting to hear his experiences and I learned a lot from him. He told me that you can send sound through your body. I decided to test this in my workshop so after I had done some toning for the group, I told them that I was now going to send the sound through my body without physically making the sound. There was one very skeptic lady in the group and when I was finished, she almost jumped. She had felt her heartbeat increase when I had send the sound and the minute I stopped, her heartbeat came down. She could not believe it. So this was a great affirmation that it does work. Every time I do a healing session or a workshop, I am learning more and more. Isn’t it wonderful how life is just one big learning experience? They say when the student is ready, the master will appear. They come in many different forms and ways and it always delights me when I have gained more knowledge.  

Because of the great success of my workshop and private sessions, Rebecca and I have decided to organize a concert and workshop next weekend so I guess it is not time for me to leave this area yet. I have to laugh about this whole situation. I was going to stay in this area maybe for a day or two and instead it will be three weeks.  

Sitting behind a booth, reminds me of my time in

New Zealand. When we had our flower growing and import/wholesale business of furniture and gifts, I would go to the local markets as well as the large trade shows. Although I enjoyed it at that time, that is not my path anymore. I am glad that my life has taken a different turn. 

 

 

 

 

Posted: June 3rd, 2007 under May 2007.
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June 1, 2007 Yesterday was another wonderful day. When I had lunch with Vicky and Sam the other day, Sam told me has was taking an employee of Coca Cola and his family to the Little Bighorn Battlefield on Thursday and he asked if I wanted to come. Of course I don’t say no to such an invitation so at 8.30 yesterday morning I met him and Sonny, his friend who is the curator for Fort Phil Kearny. 

It was about an hour drive and I had such a great time sitting in front of Sam’s new truck in between a cowboy/writer with the boots, jeans, hat and all and a historian. I love how I am experiencing something different everyday. One moment I fly in a private jet and the next I am with the cowboys driving to some battlefield. These moments are so precious to me. We discussed the issues with the Indians and the Soldiers and ended up creating this story where I was the captive woman and they were going to trade me for some whiskey. I told them, as long as it was very expensive whiskey as I did not wanted to be sold to cheaply. We had a great time and many laughs and I could have driven like this forever. At the battlefield I could feel my heart tighten. This was where Colonel Custer had lost the battle and many of the soldiers got killed. You could definitely feel the energy of this. This all happened in 1877. It is so sad that we haven’t learned from those experiences and that we still live in a world of war. On the way back (they told me that they couldn’t even sell me for a beaded bracelet so they had decided to take me back home again. Lucky me!) we talked about how Native Americans were much more in tune with nature and with something bigger than we are. I told them that I am very intuitive but when I am at home it is so easy to get caught up in the every day routine it is hard for me to feel the guidance. When I am relaxed, my intuition increases. Every one of us is intuitive but most of us have lost this connection. When we start to listen to those little nudges, in time we will become more and more intuitive. I also mentioned that I do healing and that I have been working with horses while in this area. Sam said, maybe you can give Sonny some healing as he has problems in his hip. So I offered to do this. First he was reluctant but then he accepted so while driving back to

Sheridan, I gave him a treatment. Within a few minutes he could feel his muscles relax. He was quit amazed by the effect it had on him.

 On our way back we stopped at the local pub for a drink. Yep, I am in Cowboy land! I just loved the experience. I hardly go to a bar or pub but it is fun to see how people live in this part of the world. Here I am, sitting in a bar in the middle of no where in an Indian Reservation having an orange juice with a cowboy and a historian. Life can bring you wonderful experiences when you let the Universe or your heart guide you.

Posted: June 3rd, 2007 under May 2007.
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May 31, 2007  Marijke has been a great connector for me in this area. She rang on Tuesday night and said that I had to meet Jennifer Williams who also lives in Bighorn. Jennifer was married to Joe Pullitzer of the Pullitzer Price. I rang her yesterday morning and told her who I was and Marijke felt that we needed to meet so Jennifer invited me to her place.It truly amazes me how friendly people are in this area. Here is a complete stranger, who calls and says that a friend had felt that we should meet, and she immediately says yes to this. When I arrived at her home, I was welcomed by the smell of fresh baked cookies. I mentioned to her that I like it that people still cook and bake in this area. Often I have experienced in this country that people go out for lunch and dinner most of the time and that the old fashioned family life has disappeared.  I grew up on a horse farm in a small country town in

Holland with about 2000 people. My mother always cooked. We only went out for dinner on special occasions. When living in

New Zealand, I used to bake my own bread and cookies and we had a vegetable garden. I guess I am a bit of a homebody and still love to cook, especially gourmet dinners for my friends. I don’t like to go out for dinner too often as I still feel that it needs to be something special. Am I old fashioned? Maybe, but I like it. Although I enjoy meeting people, I also love being at home, the log fire going on a cold day, candlelight throughout the house. Yeah, I am romantic too.Maybe that is why I feel so at home in this small town of Wyoming. I feel there is still the old fashioned warmed and family life. I had planned to stay only for a few days in this area but more than a week later, I am still here and will be for a few more days.Jennifer told me that because it is so sparsely populated in

Wyoming and people have so much space that this could be the reason why people do like to be in each others company. I think she is right. When we live in big cities, we don’t have any personal space so when we come home, we needed to be in our own space for awhile to recharge and don’t feel the need to be with others.I like the city but feel that I am happier in a small country town. 

While writing this, I am sitting at the local garage as the RV needs to have new oil. (Yes Dad, I finally did it) I love watching people come in. Every one wears jeans, dirty cowboy boots and of course the cowboy hat. It is so much fun to be in this Western town for a while.

I went to dancing again last night and had a great time doing the cha cha cha and the samba. I know all these dances but don’t always have a chance to dance so whenever I get the opportunity, I grab it. Marijke was there with her dear friend Levi, a man in his late twenties. After dancing we had something to drink in one of Sheridan’s nice lounges. Marijke is a very bright and passionate woman and I really like her.

We talked about how important it is to have a network of supportive people around you. The indiginous people have villages in which not only the parents take responsibility to raise their children, but grandparents, aunties and uncles and friends also get involved. Each person has their own gift, their own strenght and if you had an issue, you might seek out your grandparent who would be just the right person for that particulare issue. For something else you might go to your uncle. I really like this idea. Sometimes our parents are just too close to us and it would be better to discuss a situation with someone who is more objective. Also you can receive so much more love from other family members that are close to you then just counting on your parents. In our society we are so caught up with making money or being successful and we have lost touch with the importance of the family life. Can we bring this back or have we gone to far?

Posted: June 1st, 2007 under May 2007.
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May 30, 2007 Yesterday morning I offered to do a healing session on Anne which she accepted. So often we give and give and we don’t allow any time to receive. It was now time for her to just sit and receive. When I started my toning, Scout the Lab dog, came over to check it out. He stayed around the whole time and would put his nose in my face every time I did some toning. Because I am more relaxed at the moment, I feel the energy flow through me more easily and it is much stronger too. When I tone, I can now feel all the vibrations through my own body too so while giving a healing to someone else, I receive a vibrational tune up as well.  

I finally had time to have lunch with Vicky Cain and Sam Morton. Vicky is the woman who I talked to while at the visitor’s center when I had just arrived. Her boyfriend Sam is the writer that I had run into while at the Mercantile Store in Bighorn. It was wonderful to finally have some time to connect with them.   Sam’s story is very interesting and inspiring. He has written a column for the Polo magazine for the last 10 years and sometimes covers some information on the history of the horses in this area. Someone read one of his articles and asked him if he wanted to write an article about two people from this area that had been involved with horses and had great stories to tell. This someone turned out to be the owner of Coca Cola and this article turned into a seven year project with the end result the book “Where rivers run north”. What is so inspiring about this story is that Sam never had any intention in writing a book at all. He was approached by this man, he was paid for seven years to write this book and the entire publishing etc. was also paid for.This shows that when the time is right and you do what you love to do, the right people will come on your path and make things happen for you.  Vicky’s son had participated in my class at the

Bighorn

School and absolutely loved it. He shared all my stories with Vicky and went on line to look at my website. It was nice to hear this response from a young person.

 Later that day, I received a phone call from Karen, a friend of Anne. Anne had talked to her about the treatment that I had given her. Karen had to put one of her horses down last week due to a terrible injury and she and her other two horses were feeling the loss of their friend. She wondered if I could come over to do some healing work on the three of them. We met at five at the Guide Shack parking area and she took me to the stables where her horses where. Last week Wednesday or Thursday I had gone for a drive through the area and I had seen this beautiful ranch with very nice stables. I had felt drawn to this place. When Karen took me to the stables, it turned out that this was the same place. It was Thursday when she had put her horse down. We brought in the horses and I did some energy work on them. More and more I realize that our animals and children really reflect our own pain. As I worked on one of the horses, I received information about what needed to be healed in Karen. While working with her other horse, I felt a lot of sadness and pain in his chest/heart area due to experiences in his early life. It was wonderful to see how he would allow me to do some energy work on this area and when he felt it was enough, he would back of, stay there for a little while and then he would come to me again and I could do some more work on him. Animals are very in tune and they show us exactly when they have had enough. When I was working on Karen we were still in his stable and when I worked on her chest/heart area, he would come and touch her there with his nose. It was a beautiful experience for me to work together with these wonderful animals. Slowly I could see the light return in Karen’s eyes and felt grateful that she had called me for help.I love working with animals and people at the same time. When I work on one, the other will feel the benefit of this as well.
Karen told me about her teacher Erik Herbermann, who has a wonderful technique of teaching you how to become one with your horse energetically. It is not so much about learning how to ride but learning how to tune into your horse and working together with your horse. When you are tense or worried, this will have an effect on your horse and its performance.I believe it is the same with our children. If your child is angry, often if we look at ourselves, we find that we feel angry within. If we can let go of this anger, then we will find that our child’s anger disappears as well. This is the law of attraction and can be applied in any situation of our life. When we live like this, it is not possible for us to blame anyone any more for how we feel or what is happening to is. It is always a reflection of our own emotions, thoughts and reflections. We are truly responsible for everything that is happening to us.  We all have experienced the following situation: we wake up feeling grumpy and throughout the day a lot of people we come in contact with treat us badly, they are rude to us, they don’t notice us etc. This makes us feel even worse and it is as if the whole world is against us. On the other side when we feel great, everything goes smoothly, people are friendly to us etc. Everything and everyone around us, reflect our inner feelings.So no more pointing the finger to blame others for what is happening to us. It is time to create our own world of joy and happiness! Enjoy the ride!! 

Posted: June 1st, 2007 under May 2007.
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May 29, 2007 I decided to go for a nice hike yesterday morning. The path was steep and rocky while winding through thick vegetation. I sometimes had to stop to catch my breath. A number of trees had fallen down and blocked the path. I either had to climb over, crawl underneath or take a small detour to continue my journey. The closer I came to the top, the more open the vegetation became. I saw patches of grass with the occasional yellow flower and then….. I arrived at the top of the mountain and saw fields covered in yellow and purple flowers. What a magnificent sight. Suddenly I understood that this hike was metaphor of our lives. We follow our path and sometimes it is rocky and steep with lots of obstacles. But if we continue, the reward is an abundance of joy and freedom. The reward is absolutely Magnificent!!  Sitting on this mountain top, I overlook the valley of

Story, a little town on the foot of the Bighorn Mountains in

Wyoming. The slopes are covered in an abundance of bright flowers; yellow, purple and white and the sight of this is just breathtaking.

While taking this in, I feel the energy of abundance all around me. I see thousands yellow heads facing to the sky. I can see miles and miles overlooking the green hills and I hear an orchestra of birds. In this precious moment there is absolutely no lack, only abundance!  

After this inspiring moment, I drove to Bighorn and visited Susan at the Guide Shack for a little while. I told her that I was on my way to Anne Pendergast and she said; that was the woman that Sandee felt you should meet. I guess this was confirmation again that if we need to meet someone, it will happen.   Anne and I both felt the need to spend some time together. Anne was tired when I arrived and felt she needed to just lie on the couch. I asked her if there was anything I could do for her; maybe give her some healing? She took some time to rest and while she did this, I realized that most of the time we really don’t need to do anything, just holding the space and being there is enough. It is like two tuning forks. When one starts to vibrate, the other will automatically start to vibrate the exact same tone. It was a wonderful realization for me to understand that I really don’t need to do anything. I have always been a doer, find it hard to sit still and do nothing, absolutely nothing. Yes, I can read a book and sit still but just to sit is very difficult for me. While she was lying there, I saw this young child that really wanted to be hold and loved. I realized that I also saw a reflection of myself. Everyone is always a reflection of us. Could it be that if we heal that part in us that we see that needs to be healed in others, that automatically that part in the other will be healed too? Like the tuning forks? So I decided to give my inner child some love and nurturing while Anne was taking a rest. After a while Anne opened her eyes and she said that she felt much better. It was just beautiful to be in each others company and share some insights. Anne needed to bring in the horses. She has three and one of them is this beautiful Hanoverian horse. He is 18 hands and has great charisma. When he walked, we saw that he was tight in the hind quarters. We decided to give him love and tenderness as his rider, Anne’s daughter Sally had left that morning to go to live in

Santa Fe and won’t be able to ride him anymore. Anne needs to decide if she wants to sell her horse. I could feel sadness around Avadon.Animals are so sensitive and they also reflect our own emotions. Was he reflection Anne’s sadness, was this his own or maybe both? Here is a beautiful horse that can bring so much joy to someone. At this moment he feels a bit lost, his future is uncertain. He has wonderful pastures to graze in; two other horses as his companion but is this the kind of life that would make him happy. Like most of us, he needs to feel needed; he needs to have a purpose in his life. So probably he would be better of being with someone who has the time to ride him, to nurture and care for him, to love him.Anne thanked me for being there, for just holding the space for both of them to process what they needed to process. Again, I am reminded that just being there, can sometimes be enough. When we walk back to the house Anne finds an angler of a young deer. She was all excited and gave it to me. Then she turned her head and found the other angler of the pair. She was so excited. You should have seen the joy on her face when she told me that it is very rare to find a pair of anglers. This was a huge gift. Now I understood why she felt so much joy and I could now share it with her. We each kept one and this will be a reminder of another special encounter.

Posted: May 29th, 2007 under Short stories, May 2007.
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May 28, 2007 Marijke and Sandee had both mentioned that I should meet Karen Clift. She is a well known classical singer who has performed with famous symphony orchestras all over the US.

I rang Karen this morning and she asked if I wanted to come over that morning and if I would like some waffles for breakfast? When I arrived, a beautiful woman welcomed me into her home, prepared a fabulous waffle with fresh strawberries, blue berries, pecan nuts and maple syrup. What a treat! We immediately connected and it was fascinating to me to hear the story of her career.After I told her about my work, she felt that I needed to meet her friend Anne, who is very intuitive and has horses. As soon as she talked to Anne about me, Anne knew that she needed to meet me so we decided we would visit her after we had gone for a hike in

Tongue River

Canyon. 

  

What an amazing place that is. You are surrounded by high cliffs, a river that is streaming wildly and beautiful vegetation. There are certain places where the rocks echo the sound of the river and it sounds like if you are sitting underneath a waterfall.It was so wonderful to spend time with another singer and to hear her stories. I recognize a lot of myself in Karen. This might also have to do with the fact that we are both Scorpios. In one of our conversations, I mention that the voice is the sound of our soul. This is the only way through which we can communicate and express the essence of who we are with the vibration of sound. You know how you sometimes say something and you wonder where it came from. As soon as I had said this I felt like that. This was information that was important for me to know. Through our voice we can express how we feel, what we like or don’t like, who we are. Our voice is very important for us. Can you imagine how difficult it would be to let another know what we need if you can’t speak?   It has also been proven that the words that we use do have a great impact on our well being. Maybe you have seen the movie What the bleep do we know?Dr. Masaru Emoto is featured in this movie. He has done a study with water and sound. He took two glasses of water, placed them in a separate room and played Mozart in one room and heavy metal in the other room. The then froze the water, took a crystal, placed it under a microscope and took a picture of the crystal. The crystal that had been exposed to Mozart music was perfect in shape and bright in color. The crystal that had been exposed to Heavy Metal music was shattered and yellow/brown in color. He also did an experiment where he placed a sticker with the word Love on a glass and one with the word Hate on another glass. The crystal of the water with love was beautiful and bright, the one with Hate was totally deformed and a yucky yellow/brown color. As our bodies are composed of over 70% of water, it is natural to expect that the music and words have a great effect on our well being. Knowing this, I am more careful which words I choose and what kind of music I listen to. After our wonderful hike, Karen and I went to Anne and had a wonderful dinner there. Anne lives on a beautiful ranch with 65 acres in Bighorn. Her place is very peaceful and I like the energy of it. She mentioned that her friend Michael, who is very intuitive, had said that the

Bighorn Mountains are very Yin energy. I totally agree with this. Sedona is very masculine, very Yang. More and more I feel drawn to Yin energy so no wonder I feel so at home here and I have no desire to leave yet. Anne is also very intuitive and she is a healer. She teaches Yoga as well. When I came to

Wyoming, I had expected to meet a lot of very conservative people but this has not been the case at all. I am meeting very open and conscious people and it is wonderful to spend time with them. I have experienced that the people are extremely friendly in this area. It is easy to make new friends and I feel totally welcomed in this community although I have only been here for a week.

Posted: May 29th, 2007 under Short stories, May 2007.
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May 27, 2007 

Most of yesterday I spend writing and creating my blog on line. I feel drawn to share my experiences with others and hope that they might find inspiration and hope in my words. 

Marijke had invited me to a dinner party at her home last night. It was a small group of wonderful people; Janet and David with their two beautiful girls Gracen and Annie and Janet’s mother Tommie from Dallas, Chris and her two boys and Kurt and his two boys and then Marijke and her son and me. Gracen and Annie like to sing and of course I wanted to hear this.  I felt privileged to spend some time with these two girls. The boys were doing their boy stuff so I didn’t get to spend much time with them. These two girls are very pretty and they are such a bright light. It was a joy to hear them sing and it pleases me that at this young age, they feel comfortable to share their gifts with others. If we can only encourage our children to speak up and perform for others at a young age then it will be so much easier for them later on to speak in public or to perform. I wish I had performed more at a young age but I was too shy and felt more at ease with my horses. It has taken me many years to over come the fear of speaking in public and performing. 

It was a nice group of people and we had great conversations. We also did some singing together on the deck and this was so much fun. Making music always adds something special. Janet, Tommie and Marijke have beautiful voices and it was a joy to share some of the well known songs like The Way we Were and Let it be. I remember when I was young and my grand father would bring out his accordion and my father would play trumpet. These are special memories. It saddens me that making music has very much been lost in our society. We are so busy. How often do we take the time to sing together? Maybe at Christmas a few songs and that is it. It is so simple to sing together and it brings so much joy. When we sing together, we truly become one.

I hope that when it is time for me to have a family, that I will remember this and that creating music and singing will be a big part of our lives. 

After the wonderful dinner, I decided to check out the Mint Bar in downtown

Sheridan. I always like to meet new people.

Wyoming is a real hunters area so the Mint Bar had all these heads of dead animals hanging on the wall. There were a variety of deer, moose, big horn sheep, as well as a coyote and wolf. There were also a lot of pictures of the rodeo. It is so much fun to be in the Western area and I do hope to see a rodeo while I am in

Wyoming. The crowed in the Bar was young and I didn’t feel that this was the place for me to be so I left, found a place to park my RV for the night and went to sleep.

Posted: May 29th, 2007 under May 2007.
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May 26, 2007 

Krishna called this morning. When I had left his house, he said; I will give you an oil bath every week so this was my phone session.. He told me a beautiful story and I just cried. I didn’t really know why but couldn’t stop it.Part of me is feeling this fear of being on this journey, having no concerts or workshops scheduled which means having no income. I love this journey but sometimes this fear pops up. Am I doing the right thing, am I on the right path?I shared this with

Krishna and he asked me to look into this deeper. What was the seed of my voice? Why do I feel the need to express myself through my voice? What is my purpose? He also mentioned that add the end of the day, I will look back and see what the essence was of that day and what it is that I have learned from it. To be able to grow it is important to realize our limitations and be present in the identity of this state. Then we take the time to examine this. It is always wonderful to talk to him as he has so much knowledge and is so willing to share this with me. 

While sitting in the Mercantile shop to write the other day, I had asked the lady behind the counter if she knew of anyone who had ranch where I could stay and ride some horses as Greg had never returned my call. Because the weather had been bad, he had asked me to call him if the weather would clear up. I had did this but he didn’t call back so I guess there was another place for me to be. The lady said that most of the ranches don’t have their horses out yet as it is still too cold and too wet. A bit later, a man and his wife had lunch in the shop and they told the lady behind the counter that they had an English family coming out the following weekend so they were busy preparing the ranch. The lady of the store asked if they had the horses out and when they said yes, she looked at me and explained what I was looking for. I had a talk to Marty and his wife and they said that the owner Sandee might be willing to do this. They said to come into the Guide Shack to talk to Susan about this so when I had finished all my writing I went in and had a nice talk to her.

Susan is a lovely woman with a great Texan accent. She was going to pass on the information to Sandee and gave me her number so that I could call her. When I talked to Sandee she invited me and Susan to come out to the Ranch and spend some time together. We were welcomed in the Lodge which is their guest house and they rent this out to families or groups.

The name of the ranch is Canyon Ranch and was bought by an earl of

England called Oliver Wallup. Now four generations further it is Paul Wallup and his wife Sandee who run the ranch. It is int the foot hills of

Bighorn Mountains and is truly spectacular. Many famous politicians have stayed there. The Lodge is an amazing house and I would love to take my whole family here one day to spend some time together. Sandee had the fire going and spoiled us with crackers and cheese. She is a beautiful open hearted woman and I immediately felt at home with her and her cute little puppy dog. Sandee is into yoga and is very open minded. She felt that I needed to meet another woman and mentioned a name. When we left, she said that we would meet before I would leave and maybe there was a possibility to do some riding together in the mountains.

 When Susan dropped me of where I had my RV parked, there were a number of people in the local Bighorn pub so I decided to have the Wyoming pub experience. I walked in, sat at the bar and ordered an orange juice as I don’t drink alcohol. The man sitting next to me said; your vitamin C huh! He introduced himself as Bill, a contractor from

Montana, who is here for a couple months to do some work. We chatted for a bit and within 10 minutes of talking to him, I received a wedding proposal from him. I guess when it is right you know immediately huh, but sorry I feel I have a different path. We both had a great laugh about this. I told him I wanted to ride in the mountains so he asked Tim over to talk to me. Tim is originally from

England and rides Polo. Apparently this area is much known for its polo. Tim said that they don’t have any horses out yet so he couldn’t help me. Maybe I am not meant to ride here and it is just a way for me to meet the people that I need to meet?  .

Posted: May 29th, 2007 under May 2007.
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May 25, 2007 After writing for 5 hours in the Mercantile shop, I decided I need to be outside for a while so I asked if there were any great hikes in the area. They said that the little town Story had a nice hike at the Fish Hatchery so I decided to go there. It was only 12 miles drive from Bighorn. While writing all this down I sit in the Piney Creek Store in Storey. This is another Mercantile Store with a little restaurant. They allow me to use their power for my computer while I have a cup of tea. The hydraulic leveling system stopped working in my RV and the kind people in the shop have found a local for me who can have a look at this. So while I wait, I can do some writing. 

I love to hike in the mountains. At this time of the year they are covered with yellow and purple flowers. I wish I could paint for it is breathtaking. I couldn’t remember the name of the yellow flowers but the purple ones were lupines and delphiniums. It bothered me that I couldn’t remember the name of the yellow one. I thought and thought and then said, ok I let it go. Sometimes when you let things go, they come to you when you least expect it. After I took a picture of the flowers, I turned around and stared in the eyes of beautiful deer. She was checking me out and I felt so blessed to be in her presence for awhile. After she had enough of me, she turned around and with big jumps disappeared on the mountain. This is what I love so much about this country; the pure wilderness, seeing animals in their natural surroundings. When I am in nature, I don’t feel alone. I feel connected to everything around me. The only disturbance is my mind. I truly wish I could get it to stop chattering for a while. Silly thoughts run through my head and then I remember to focus on my breath and every step that I take. This will help me to clear my head. Why is it so difficult for us to still our mind? Really, when we would write down all the thoughts that we have, most of them have no purpose at all.

Krishna mentioned to me that when I wake up in the morning, I should find one aspect of my personality that I would like to observe. A word that I often use, a thought I often have, an emotion or feeling. When observing this, we can find out if it has been conditioned or if it is something that comes from our heart. The last few weeks I have come to understand how much conditioning we have in our lives. It starts out immediately when we are born. We take on our parents ideas and believes, then we go to school and take on what our teachers tell us, the same happens with our friends and basically with everyone we come in contact with. Each and everyone has their own point of view and so often we just take this as being the truth without feeling in our own heart what our truth is. Over the last few weeks, I have started to look at this closely and I am letting go of those things that I have been conditioned with. I am now finding my own truth, what is resonating with me and this will allow me to truly become authentic. It is an interesting journey.  Just a silly example; someone tells you that everyone with brown eyes has a negative influence on you. Now before you would never have felt anything when you talked to someone with brown eyes but now that someone has mentioned this to you suddenly you feel drained when you meet someone with brown eyes. Is this conditioning? I used to be extremely influenced by this but now I use discernment to figure out if this rings true to me. If not, I let it go.  

I hiked along the river that is streaming rapidly because of all the rain in the past few days, while concentrating on my breath and my foot steps. It is funny how I can feel lonely sometimes in the city but while I am in nature, I never have this feeling. How can you feel lonely when you are surrounded with so much beauty? When you feel connected to all that is? As I am writing this, a man walks in and introduces himself as Warren. He is a local and we have a nice chat. I love sitting in places like this in small towns. It is so easy to make contact. Of course my big RV with my name and photo on it is getting its intention in itself. People always like to know what I do and where I am from. Having a funny accent helps too. When asked where I am from, I sometimes say;

Alabama. You should hear the reactions, it always cracks me up. Sometimes there is just an Oh. People really believe it when I say it. I love pulling jokes. Life is to short to be too serious.

Posted: May 26th, 2007 under May 2007.
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May 24, 2007 Last night I found a place to park my RV in the little town with 274 people. When I started my journey I found a book in the RV that my parents had left in there. I read it and it was about a cowboy in

Idaho who was approached by a man and his daughter to guide them on a hunting trip for Bighorn Sheep. And here I am in this tiny little town called …… Bighorn.

 Yesterday I had prayed that it would be nice weather today as it had been raining and was very cold the past few days. And my prayers had been heard for when I woke up this morning the sun was shining. Yes, it was going to be another beautiful day. I wanted to do some writing but I needed power for my computer so I decided to have breakfast at the local shop called Bighorn Mercantile. This building was build in 1882 and still has this old flavor to it. In the past it sold everything from food, tools, clothing, fabric and it was the post office too. They still have the little stamp window there and this was used for the movie “Wild Horses” with Kenny Rogers. There used to be a dance hall upstairs and they still have the ticket from the first dance ball that was held there in 1882. The entry fee was $5, - This included supper. Five dollars was a lot of money in that time. Now 150 years later it is a restaurant, gift shop, grocery story, and post office all at once. I love these small towns that still have a lot of history. 

When I walked in I saw one of the ladies that I had met at the school yesterday. There was a man with a young boy sitting at one of the tables having breakfast. I ordered an omelet sandwich and sat down to do a lot of writing as I really needed to catch up. The lady behind the counter asked me where I was from. When I answered, she asked me what I was doing here so I told her the story.The man that was sitting at the table asked if I were the Dutch girl. When I said yes, he told me that his girlfriend was Vicky Cain. When I was at the visitor’s center asking for a ranch where I could stay, the lady that made the phone calls also called Vicky and I had a chance to talk to here. She told me that her boyfriend was a horse dentist and had just written. I was suppose to have lunch with them yesterday but couldn’t because I was at the school. So now I met this man, Sam Morton and his son Robert here in this shop. Yes, it is a small town and a small world!  Sam gave me his book called Where the Rivers run north. This book will be released in July. I am looking forward to reading all about the horses in this area. Last night I went for a walk through this beautiful area and connected with a lovely horse that took the time to let me love him for a little while. Horses are so special to me. First of all, I was named after a horse. My parent’s very first horse was called Simone. After she died, I was born and as my parents really loved this horse and they liked the name, they decided to give this name to me. My parents had trotting horses and I sat on my first horse Magnifique when I was about two years old. For my sixth birthday I got my first pony Binky. He stayed with us till he died at the age of 27. When I grew too tall to ride Binky, I got my first horse Volomite. He was a bit to much for me and threw me of a lot. After a bad fall and injuring my neck we decided to sell him. We then bought Odila and she was my most special horse. I was 16 when I got her and she was my best friend. We would play together and every time I felt sad, I would go to her stable, put my arms around her neck and she would put her head on my shoulder. She was my great comfort and I loved her dearly. Sometimes she would lie down and I would lay down with her with my head on her neck. Unfortunately she got cancer in her uterus and the vet told me that she needed to be put down. I cried many many nights and felt so angry. I was going to lose my best friend. It was my decision as to when she was going to be put down but I just couldn’t make it. At one point the vet said that if I didn’t do it soon, I might find her dead in the stables and then she needed to be hauled out and this was something that was horrible to see. I remember that I hardly slept after he first told me she had cancer and needed to be put down. One night I knew I had to make the decision and after I did this, a feeling of peace came over me and I fell a sleep. When it was time to bring her to the abattoir, I decided to come with her. We went for a last walk and she eat and eat grass like if she knew that it was going to be the last she would have. Normally she didn’t like going on the truck and it always took me a while to get her on. This time, she walked right in. She knew and she was not sad about it. This gave me some comfort but it still was one of the hardest things to do. Besides the death of my first cat Snoopy, this was the first real experience I had with losing a loved one. It had a huge impact on my life and now looking back, prepared me for what was to come in the future. After Odila I didn’t have a horse for a while but the passion for riding was still in my veins so I bought Isostar. With him I did a lot of competing in dressage and we did well. Almost every time we would come home with trofees. This amazing 17.1 hands horse taught me a lot. He was not a hugger like Odila. He pretended that he was to macho to be kissed by me. I had him till Nico and I immigrated to

New Zealand in 1993. He was 21 by then and too old to take to the other side of the world so I found a wonderful home for him with a young girl who loved him very much.

 In

New Zealand we got some young horses and I was riding a Trakehner stallion called Lowenhertz. He was 18 hands but the sweetest and most gentle stallion I had ever met.

After a number of years competing in dressage, I didn’t enjoy the competing anymore. I was too competitive and had lost the true joy of riding so I sold all my dressage horses and bought a young quarter horse Bowdie. With him I could connect with nature while riding in the forest. He was sold when I moved back to the

Netherlands and that was the end of my riding. This was seven years ago. In the last couple of months I felt this longing to be on a horse again and I hope to do some great riding here in

Wyoming.  

Posted: May 26th, 2007 under May 2007.
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